I Need Self-Care (Not Just Coffee)

By Ret David North

You work hard. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back, there’s no harm in it. Through every meeting that could have been an email, every email that should have been a meeting, and every moment where you’re just waiting for a lunch break, wishing for another cup of coffee, or itching to go home already, you’re there killing it and helping your community stay in touch and in the know.

All jokes about the wonders of caffeine aside, work can drain you of energy, motivation, and even your sense of self. It is an endless cycle of working so hard that you feel you can’t work that hard the next day or the day after, and then going back to work the next day and doing it all over again, against all odds.

Especially in jobs where our phones sit in our pockets making us think about work everywhere we go, taking care of ourselves is critical. Self-care is a multi-faceted endeavor with the power to decide what you’re able to accomplish in a day both at work, and at home. Taking initiative to take care of yourself is a means to survive and thrive.

There are 5 areas of life where self-care is critical:
a) Physical
b) Mental
c) Emotional
d) Spiritual
e) Social

In this order, they improve upon each other, and each step can further enable you to take on the world.

Physical
If your body is not working, then neither are you. Physical problems actually detract from how much energy your brain has to do mental and emotional work as your brain is working overtime to heal your body. Needs like adequate food and water, sleep, and exercise are not only survival mechanisms: they are needs that are totally unique to your body and how it works. Some of this really breaks down to time management, so set aside time as you are able to eat, drink, and stretch or exercise, even if only for 15 minutes. Try to get in the habit of configuring the distribution of your time each day so that you know when you need to go to bed to get enough sleep to function the next day.

Other physical self-care activities can feel like treats or rarities, but too long without them and they become needs. That bath bomb you saw at the store the other day? You might need that time relaxing and breathing deeply tonight. That dog park you thought might be some fun exercise for you and your pup? It may just be the first real time you’ve spent not thinking about work all week. Taking care of your body can feel like an impulse decision, but it may just be the one thing you needed most this week. Listen to your body.

Mental
Mental health is a complicated topic because your psychological needs are even more unique to you and your life than your body is. How you distribute your mental energy within your day and what information you decide to absorb has a massive influence on your well-being before you even start to interact with people. In this instance, time management can also be a factor, but the way you spend that time, even while at work, can have an even bigger influence. How much time on your phone or computer was spent learning something new? Was the information you spent your time working with all positive? How much did any negative information you looked at affect your mental state?

Do you practice self-care for your mental health? Do you meditate, read, or attend therapy or counseling? If not, activities like these may be the boost to your confidence that you’ve been looking for.

Emotional
Being mentally healthy is not the same as being emotionally healthy. No matter how solid your mental health is, processing, understanding, and productively handling and responding to our emotions can be very difficult. Further, letting others see your emotions is equally difficult and can feel like the least healthy thing to do. Setting aside time to look at your emotions, contemplate them and understand why you feel that way, and what you can do to feel better can make an incredible amount of difference.

You may want to start by yourself, with a journal or even a voice memo. Getting your emotions somewhere outside of your head can be the first step to lifting a weight off your shoulders. Eventually, you may want to sit down and share those emotions with someone else you trust, be it a friend or family member, or even a mental health professional.

Spiritual
Especially when you work where you worship, strong connection and relationship with God can be a determining factor in how ready you are for the rest of your day; but working in a place that feels so close to God can often make us feel like we need a break from God sometimes, and that’s okay! Spiritual growth looks different for each of us, and sometimes that growth can even happen outside community. Meditation, worship, spiritual study, and introspection can be just as effective as community and structured worship in helping you grow spiritually.

Social
Social self-care may not always feel like self-care. Maintaining and making time for relationships with others can feel so overwhelming that we eliminate self-care entirely to make sure someone else is happy. Close relationships are extremely important for well-being, but it is also important to make sure that you have a good balance. Make sure the relationships you keep are valuable and do not detract from your ability to practice self-care. In a healthy relationship, each person takes care of one another, rather than one person (you) carrying the weight of the whole.

Effective self-care is multi-faceted and requires walking the talk. Don’t just talk about it: write it down and spend the time and energy to contemplate exactly what you need to take care of yourself and support your friends, family, and community. You work hard, so spend some of that time on you.